Location: Lake Atitlan, Guatemala
Date: June 12, 2017
Journal Entry 1: Decisions
I’ve been in Guatemala a little over two weeks now. I haven’t had a chance to write much, so I’m determined to force something out. I’ve yet to eem give myself time to process this experience and the gravity of this decision.
The never ending journey I've embarked upon with my partner..my love..and the many ups and down, twists and turns that will comprise it.
It's the most life changing decision I've ever made, next to deciding to quit my job (the first time) and work for self.
It's amazing how each small decision we make can shift our life in major ways. Me, ending up here, in Guatemala, working for self, being an artist -- being who I am -- was triggered by a series of small "insignificant" decisions tracing back some 29 years.
Living shapes us.
We're active participants no matter how passively we live our lives. Our environment -- people, life, energy -- and our thoughts -- habits, beliefs, fears, discoveries -- act on us every day.
Chiseling, carving us into form, bit by bit until the masterpiece, that is our lives, is complete.
I've slowly become aware of how much we're able to shape ourselves. To be both art and artist. And how decision is the driving force of that transition..that synergy--the engine.
So many of us live our lives dodging the responsibility -- and subsequently the power attached to it -- of making decisions for ourselves. We'd rather flitter along. Asking for help. Wanting someone else to make decisions for us..to be artist..sculptor of our masterpiece.
Our friends, our families, our educators, our mentors, our bosses..our ancestors, god, the cosmos -- any and everybody but ourselves.
And in lies the source of our problems.
Our inability -- our FEAR -- of holding ourselves accountable.
Our inability -- our FEAR -- of transcending circumstance.
Of empowering ourselves, so we can then, empower one another.
We'd rather surrender to victimhood, as if we're not actively living our lives at least 16 hours of everyday.
Days filled with decisions -- with power.
We decide to get up, or sleep in.
We decide to work out, or not.
To eat fruit or a donut.
To go to work -- school.
To study or watch TV.
Each decision we do not make it still a decision.
Each decision made for us, by our peers or some other influence, is still a decision.
This power, this energy of choice -- this god given free will can be our freedom or our prison.
The decision is ours.